Are you an ambitious misfit?

 

What is a misfit anyway - and why do I keep calling you that?

 

First of all, there is no one way to be a misfit (that would kind of defeat the purpose - wouldn't it?!)

 

Secondly, being a misfit is not a bad thing. OBVIOUSLY.

 

Even if it may have felt that way in the past.

 

Even if growing up you felt:

too short, too tall, too skinny, not skinny enough, too poor, too foreign, too weird, too quiet, too loud, too opinionated, too smart, too dumb - whatever.

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Whatever it was, you felt that you were TOO MUCH, and at the same time not enough of whatever the hell you felt you were expected to be.

 

The thing is you are not too much.

 

And you are enough.

 

But what we do is we learn to survive. And often how we do that is to suppress those rough edges that make us different.

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Then you can end up in a situation where:

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You work really fucking hard, and achieve a ton. Maybe you are a senior leader, or an entrepreneur.

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But a voice inside of you is scared that if people knew how you really  were, that if you showed up as your full self in work and all areas of your life, then it could all come crashing down.

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You might end up doubting even the positive words of praise you get from your boss or your peers.

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That little voice inside says - they don't actually know you.

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You might be running your own business and looking ever so successful on the outside, while inside your soul is shrivelling and you feel you're not being true to yourself. 

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You might be a senior leader with a fancy job title and swanky salary, binge drinking and puking your guts out before a conference because of your hangover, delivering an impeccable presentation to much praise, and then sneaking a little scotch into your coffee to get through the day - and repeat, repeat.

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You might be an "alcoholic with a laptop", as we joking / totally not joking used to call ourselves in one of my old corporate jobs.

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It was a badge of honour. Work hard, play so hard you nearly have the ambulance called on you, job done.

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Perhaps your inner judge hasn't driven you to such dramatic lengths. (Although if it has - hiya, yes it's me, I am you too)

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There is no one way that impostor syndrome, self doubt and shame manifest.

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But you may recognise some of these varieties:

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- Impostor syndrome. You try to fill the leaky bucket of self-esteem with more and more achievements, which are never enough - another promotion, another certification, chasing external recognition to fill the lack inside.

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- People pleasing. Tying your sense of self worth with how other people feel about you, and feeling burnt out, dissatisfied and chronically guilty.

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- Self doubt. Continually suppressing your own needs leads to you second-guessing your own dreams and instincts, so you end up spinning in circles or pursuiing a path that you're not sure is the one you want in the first place. Do you really really  want that stuffy consulting job, or are you doing it because you think it's a safe bet and you're scared what will happen if you follow your heart?

- Perfectionism. Holding yourself to such high standards that you never feel ready, you have a graveyard of projects and dreams that never got off the ground because you were so fucking scared that you would fail, that you never tried - and so you did.

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- Harsh inner critic. You become your own worst enemy, your cruelest judge. School may have been decades ago but your inner bully is still going strong in your head and has taken on a life of its own.

You end up cutting yourself up into palatable, bite-size pieces.

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You end up shrivelling up a little bit inside, every time.

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That little shrivelled raisin of your true self is still there and together, we are going to save it.

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This mission is nothing smaller than soul rescue.

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It is serious fucking business.

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It is also a hell of a lot of fun - and yes, also hard work.

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You have to be willing to stretch yourself out of your comfort zone.

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You have to be ready to grow and try something different.

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Sure, you could stay comfortable.

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You could keep doing what you are doing.

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That little authentic misfit raisin will keep getting smaller and more shrivelled.

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It will keep crying out for you to listen and give it some fucking soul water.

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Don't go to your death bed with a fucking raisin inside. (PSA: I love raisins - but in bagels - not in your soul)

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So now you know what the issues are - what are you going to do?

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Working with me, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to:

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- Have a 60 minute coaching session with me over Zoom, once a week for three months

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- Working together, we will uncover your strengths and identify who you really are underneath all the people pleasing crap (hi- no judgement here, my name is DeAnna and I'm a recovering people pleaser)

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- We will uncover and lovingly release your limiting beliefs. Let's face it - sweeping them under the carpet doesn't work, they continue to run the show, with their sneaky self sabotage. So we may as well have a good old hoover under there, don't ya think?

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- We will tap into your inner wisdom that is your inner GPS. My therapist called it 'Wise Mind' and I thought - mate, I don't have a wise mind and if I did I wouldn't trust it because I clearly can't be trusted (gestured to the wreckage of my life). Well guess what - turns out I did have a fucking Wise Mind after all and now that bitch won't shut up - thank GOD. She is my best friend and with her I know I will never abandon myself. You have a wise mind too - or maybe you want to call her your own inner GPS, your gut, your intuition. She is there, underneath the layers of others expectations, your old beliefs, your trauma, your upbringing, etc. Put your hiking boots on, we are going on an expedition to unearth her - and you will never feel lost again.

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Are you fucking ready to blossom???

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Let's go!!